Six months trip in Europe. Chapter 1

It was a crisp clean morning that only a hard downpour the night before could bring. I walked out on the expansive whitewashed 2nd floor balcony at 5:15am 15 minutes before the alarm was set to ring. The sun had just breached the mountains that loomed high behind me. As I sucked in a deep breath of crisp Adriatic coastal air I went over the game plan as I had done a hundred times before. Finally the day had come, all the planning and going through possible scenarios was behind me. Today was a day for action.

I had decided back in southern Croatia that we were going for it despite all the warnings. Not many people dared to travel to Albania and even less went into Albania with a brand new car. The US State Department said "...organized criminal gangs continue to operate in all regions and corruption is pervasive. The U.S. Government maintains security procedures regarding the travel of U.S. Government employees to the administrative districts of Malesi E Madhe, Shkoder, and Tropoje and to the southern town of Lazarat, with such travel restricted to secure vehicles with escort." This means two bullet proof suburbans with tinted glass. The lonely planet guide book goes on to say "Driving in Albania is only for those with nerves of steel as roads are often bad and kamikaze local drivers try to overtake on even the bendiest of roads".

In a way life is all about taking calculated risks with yourself. Of course now things are different I have a wife and the stakes are much higher. I don't think we would have made it this far if it were not for guilt. You see Verneka my ever faithful wife could not stomach the guilt she would no doubt inherit if she slowed the traveling down to 1st world countries. So in some odd way that propels us forward into more adventures. The challenges we meet in the next couple paragraphs may catch your interest should you choose to stay with me....

We finally shoved off at 6:30am local time. The small hidden oasis of St. Ulcinj Montenegro was a perfect location to make a go of the Albanian border. The town was nothing more then a few shanty houses carved in a steep mountain that hugs the southern Adriatic sea. The proprietor of the place we stayed was a portly woman of about 50 years. She had dark red hair with a lot of character in her face. Her English language skills were the worst of all four people who ran the place but she refused to let the others speak, it obvious she was in charge. "Rumme 40 huro, rumme and board 50 huro ah naight" the owner repeated. Her husband had lived in NYC for 10 years and when he tried to explain something she would say "I speak now" and back to her broken record routine. It got to be fairly amusing when I saw the husband just give up and resort to silence, I not only understood his silence, but I kinda of agreed that was his best course. I think married men learn that even if you can do something or solve a problem in the long run its best to keep your mouth shut. I saw him around the property the next few days but we didn't say much, how could we he was busy doing his assigned chores! We stayed here for three days to stage our entry into Albania.

The master plan to breach the Albanian border was hole up in southern Montenegro until Monday morning early when all the trouble makers were spent from the weekend. Monday morning at 6:30 am local time we left our portly host in southern Montenegro and headed for the western most border between Montenegro and Albania. This was a secret border post and it was not on most of the maps, but it was on one local map I got in the town of Kotor on the northern Montenegro coast. If we successfully crossed at this hidden border post it would allow us to avoid the troublesome city of Shkoder in northern Albania. Shkoder is known for its heavy mafia presence. The mafia runs everything from the corner stores to the whore houses. We pulled up to the border and after 30 minutes of yelling between the grey haired head border guard and his underlings it was not to be. They would not let us pass, they kept yelling "Americano, Americano!" No one at the border spoke any English but you better believe a few locals crossing the border post jumped in on the argument between the grey haired boss and his junior. After a few minutes the locals were tossed out of the argument and continued on their cross border journey.

I got my map out and pointed to another border crossing 2 hours north of our location outside the city of Skoder. The guard shook his head side to side which means yes in Albania and we were off for round two. Time was against us at this point because we didn't reach the border in the north until 10:30 am. I figured every hoodlum in Skoder would be up looking for trouble by this time, but now there was no turning back. I easily crossed the Montenegro side of the border and rolled up to the Albanian side ready for a fight. This border was obviously larger then the hidden border outpost and it had a bigger metal structure with a line of semi trucks waiting to cross. The drivers were congregated behind one truck holding paperwork and smoking cigarettes. I went around them and pulled right up to the glass windows and jumped out. There were three men behind the glass in a small office. The usual 3rd world border cast, the guy with the grey hair, his junior a guy of about 45 years and then one young rookie. I handed my paperwork to the middle guy and he took it without breaking eye contact. Then he looked down at my passport for a few seconds and dropped it on the desk and looked me right in the eye. He then frowned and took a cigarette out and lighted it all without breaking his direct eye lock. He sat there with his elbow on the desk and his mouth lined up with the cigarette smoking and looking at me, starring me down. I imaged him thinking "does this guy have what it takes to enter Albania?" The junior guy would say something in the middle guy's ear and he would murmur and answer without breaking his stare at me. I didn't look away because I needed a passport stamp damnit! Finally when his cigarette was complete he broke eye contact got up and left without saying a word. He came around the office and walked right by me to some truckers standing with their papers. Next thing I know he's smoking another cigarette chumming it up with these beer gutted truck drivers. They laughed and carried on like old friends in their native tongue for some time. The junior guy was afraid to even look at my paperwork so he just sat there silent. The grey haired guy finished one of the truckers paperwork, everything is done by hand in a log book mind you with no computers, then just leaned back in his chair and was content to relax. I kept the pressure on by standing close to the window looking at him. Finally he got tired of that routine and had a look at the passport. He saw "United State of America" quickly frowned and threw them back on the desk. He barked out something to the junior guy which sent him running out the back door of the office. The grey haired boss was a shorter guy with neat hair and clothes. He had stress wrinkles in his forehead that showed he had probably been a high ranking officer in the last war. He sat there awhile looking at me with a frown while sighing. At some point I figured he would tire of my ugly mug and want to join the truckers for a smoke. This happened after about 10 more minutes of fogging up the glass with my nose. He stamped us through and we raced out of there like a bat out of hell.

Its amazing how quickly the environment can change when you cross the border into a 3rd world country. Immediately I crashed into a pothole full of dirty water and the smell of a roadside garbage pile on fire hit my nose. We had about 25 kilometer to Skoder and I didn't want to waste anytime getting through that hell hole. At this point I was just hoping the car could physically pass the road. The thunder storm the night before had left me at a disadvantage. All the potholes were filled with brown cloudy water so there was no way to discern how deep they were. I used my experience from driving on bad roads in South America and decided it would be best to follow a local who probably had the bad pot holes memorized. I latched onto a 1970ish puke green Mercedes diesel. This car turned out to be the favorite in Albania. Somehow the local mechanics invented a way to jack the car up so the ground clearance was like a jeep. The first guy I latched onto turned out to be a taxi driver going to Skoder. The driving was farley slow depending on animals in the road and potholes but the puke green Mercedes knew the road well and was not afraid to use his horn to clear every kind of animal from goats to cows to mangy 3rd world muts. The guide book had talked about kamikaze drivers in Albania so I was prepared for anything. This guy in front of me was nuts. He passed a huge dump truck that was driving too slow for his taste while swerving and dodging potholes on both sides of the road. Then when he got in front of the truck I saw him pull himself out of his window completely turned toward the truck behind him and started pumping out obscene hand gestures while yelling at the guy from the top of his lungs. This guy was a stunt driver to keep his car on the road with his knees and give the guy driving a 20 ton truck a verbal lashing all the while dodging pot holes in a puke green 1972 diesel Mercedes, what a sight. Needless to say I kept a safe distance behind this maniac right into Skoder where he pulled over by a guy chopping up a cow with an ax on the side of the road. The worst of it was another cow was standing a few meters away watching the chopping of his buddy, poor cow.

Driving through Skoder was like playing a video game I couldn't afford to loose. The road through town was one of the worst I've seen in all my travels. It was literally a pot hole mine field and cars from both directions were using both sides of the road to creep through trying to stay on the high ground while avoiding people, bikes and horse pulled trailers. It was about noon when we passed through and the town was fairly busy, but we kept a good pace and got through undeterred. About 10 kilometers south of Skoder I latched onto another puke green Mercedes and sighed a breath of relief, the worst was over.....for now. I drove for 10 hours no stops through very bad roads with all manor of obstacles. At one point a man with no legs had dragged himself to the middle of a pothole strewn busy road and forced you to slip right next to him as he begged for money. It was heart wrenching to watch people splash muddy water on this guy as he risked his life for beggars change. Bad economic conditions in a country puts people on the lower rungs in unbelievable situations. Seeing these calamities really motivates you to try to find a solution for the worlds poor. After several long days of fighting the Albanian roads we made it out to Greece. I stopped the car on the border to punch out of Albania and when I returned to leave ASAP the car would not start. It seems the potholed days before had finally taken its toll. The car was putting up some kind of protest it wouldn't budge. After about 10 minutes of the guard saying leave the premises in his native tough the car magically started after I whispered to her "don't worry the pot holes are behind us for now". Needless to say I left it running at the Greece side of the border. Then after we drove for a day on nice Greece roads she started no problem.....hmmmmm.

Next update is about how I got into the Bulgarian mafia....

My new, fresh baby should arrive here in 2 weeks, August 8 and thanks to the awesome job that Irv did with his website tracking the car is easy. Irv, thank you for being the best in the industry! I’ve never even imagine before I met you that working with somebody on buying a car can be such a pleasant experience! Thank you for all the help and the extra efforts that come so natural from you!